[Mood : A bundle of mixed feelings... ]
[Listening : P.P.S.H. - ONE OK ROCK *hearts* ^^ ]

Am I proud/arrogant and a babble-mouth? I think sometimes la, when I'm in my pain in the a** mode. Anyway, I hear you ask, why did this thought pop into my head in the first place?

Well, I guess I was doing some retrospective thinking... and a convo I had with Gary while walking from the (unofficial) bus stop to college suddenly struck me out of thin air.

He was telling me how his (now ex) Thinking Skills lecturer is a Datin.

Adele: So...?
Gary: So special la
Adele: My grandmother also Datin
Gary: For you it's normal la, but for me it's special (or something like that...)

Sorry Gary, if I sounded like a pompous brat. I mean like... my grandfather, the Dato', passed away even before I was born... and I definitely did not really get the chance to live the privileged and pampered life my dad had while growing up. At most, I have occasional and brief whiffs of life in the upper realms of society. So really, I am not one of those rich brats of titled personages.

And I guess there are other times too, when I can seem arrogant and domineering. So one of Adele's resolutions is to curb those sporadic bursts of bad attitude.

In retrospect (XD), I think the main reason why I'm a little skeptical and mistrustful about rich guys and marrying into a rich family is that... reality (as proven from real life examples) isn't like those Disney cartoons. You (may) get busybody and incredibly critical in-laws from hell (Eg: Aiya, what does he see in her? Got so many other rich socialites out there who look prettier and who can help forge new political and business alliances for the family), divorce is also pretty common, and who says money makes you happy anyway?

My mother probably expected the life of a Dato's daughter-in-law to be a walk in the park... lots of money, comfortable lifestyle, status and all. But guess what? My dad was a busy man who worked in another state, and in the end they got divorced. Happily ever after, not.

I would much rather have a smart guy with lots of potential who will make it someday on his own accord, and who has strong values. NOT some guy who's always had things easy and has clusters of opportunity seeking girls hanging around him since young. And anyway, I would rather be a Datuk than a Datin, and make my own bundles of money XD

That way... I can spend my money on causes close to my heart like nature conservation and poverty. Seeing the smiles on the faces of the needy, knowing an animal still has chances of not fading into the annals of history, and the knowledge that I've done something useful and worthwhile has always made me happier than eating at fancy restaurants or buying something really expensive. Haha... I'm one of those born activist who feel guilty splurging on something when I think about how my money could have saved someone from starving or to pay for an impoverished kid's medicine/education.

Actually, I count myself pretty blessed to have a relatively comfortable life where my family has always been looking after my back and fulfilling my wants. So if I do happen to get oodles and oodles of money one day... hehe... I'll go on a spending spree of a different type XD

And... I'll use my money to (finally =p )indulge in archeology and history... funding research and digs in historical havens such as Egypt, Machu Picchu, Europe and Asia.

But... even if I were destined to never come across my El Dorado, I'll go on tackling each day as it comes, enjoying the little things in life. For, often, those are things which money cannot buy ^^